"Where am I?" the Evangelist opened his eyes on the Summerland.
"Am I in Heaven? I must be! God be praised!"
He got to his feet, and looked at himself in some confusion.
"Where's my long white robe and harp? Where's my halo?" he said, feeling
about his head.
The Fool and the Lady walked up to him and smiled.
"Lord Jesus!" exclaimed the Evangelist. He threw himself down
before the Fool and began to sing "Rock of Ages" in a loud, stentorian
voice.
The Fool looked at the Lady in some puzzlement. "Didn't he notice
You at all?" He said, raising one eyebrow.
"Are You kidding?" She replied. "Remember that this guy comes
from a really patriarchial Trad .... excuse me, better use the right
terminology .... "Church." If he sees me at all, he'll only see me as
Mary, Your Mother, and think of me as entirely human and pretty much
beneath his concern."
"That's pretty dumb!" said the Fool. "Oh well. I guess I have to
do the usual thing with him, huh?"
"Yep!" said the Lady. "Enjoy yourself!"
The Fool stuck out His tongue at Her and made a rude noise.
He looked at the loudly singing Evangelist, prone upon the grass
of the Summerland, and then separated into two Aspects. One was of a
thirty year old Jew, short, with muscular arms developed from years of
hard work at carpentry. He wore a seamless white robe, and a crown of
thorns was upon His head. His hands and feet were wounded.
The other Aspect was the Trickster, in full motley. This Aspect
shook His head, jingling the bells on the Fool's cap, grinned, and said,
"Not bad! That form of Transformer suits Me!"
Transformer smiled back, and replied, "Yes .... it's one of the
best .... and this one will be the easiest for our friend here to relate
to. Besides, it's how he sees Me anyway. Might as well let everybody else
know what's going on."
"Good thought!" said Trickster. "Don't want someone walking up to
him sky-clad now, do we?" And his clothing vanished, revealing him to
have an emormous phallus, that bounced and flopped as he capered about
the Evangelist and Transformer.
"That's OK," smiled Transformer. "He won't even -see- You, much
less that donkey part there ...."
"He won't?" And a sly grin spread over Trickster's face.
"Be NICE!"
"Ah, You always muck with My fun..."
Transformer turned His attention to the Evangelist. "Rise up, my
son!"
"Oh, bru-THER!" said Trickster.
The Evangelist stood, his face enraptured with awe.
"I never thought I'd actually meet You face-to-face! Lord, I am
not worthy!"
"You are infinitely worthy. Come, and see Heaven. But beware:
before, you looked thru a glass darkly..."
"...but now I shall see it all clearly! Hosannah! Hosannah!"
"Yes, you shall. I hope your Faith is strong within you!"
"Aye, Lord, it is. But .... I must ask you of one I knew on
Earth. I tried my best to convert him from his ways, but I fear those
ways were evil and degraded. He was a homosexual....." His voice dropped
to a whisper at the last phrase.
"Oh, he's here too."
"HE'S WHAT? HERE? But ..... he was a SODOMITE!"
"Yes .... but he lived a good and ethical life, and followed his
path with caring and concern for his fellows. Why shouldn't he be here?"
"Because he ..... he would ..... Oh my God! Is there no Hell for
him?"
"None at all. The Deity loves -all-, and what kind of Deity would
punish such a wonderful creation as Humankind?"
The Evangelist goggled at Transformer.
"He sure looks like a fish that way..." remarked Trickster. "I'd
throw him in the river and see if he could grow gills, but he'd deny that
as being part of the Evil-lution Darwinist Paganism CON-spiracy.....what
now, J.C.?"
"Come, sir, and walk with me a ways," said Transformer, and He
held out His hand to the dazed Evangelist.
All three walked for a while, passing many people, both alone and
in groups. The Evangelist would occasionally give a start at some of the
things he saw. Sometimes he would turn to Transformer and begin to speak,
but he seemed to be in such shock that he said nothing.
As they walked, a lone man came up, whistling a merry tune.
"I want you to meet this guy," said Transformer. "Hey! John!
C'mere!" He shouted.
The man walked over and said, "Hi there! Who's this?"
Transformer turned to the Evangelist, and said, "I'd like you to
meet Pope John. You know, the one that did Vatican II and all of that."
The Evangelist stood as if struck to stone. "Pope...John....??? A
Catholic? A ROMAN CATHOLIC? HERE? In HEAVEN?"
John just grinned. "There's even Jews, Moslems, Episcopalians,
Buddhists, AND Pagans here. And even Madalyn Murray O'Hare, the atheist,
though she was even more surprised than you seem to be," he said.
The Evangelist started gasping for breath.
"Remember what I told you about making sure your Faith was
strong..." said Transformer.
"He looks like a fish -out- of the water, now." said Trickster.
And He started making fish-faces and mimicking a fish flopping on the
bank of a stream.
A small man in a saffron robe was passing by. He detoured over
to the little assembly, and bowed to John.
"Honourable John, remember you promised to teach me this game of
'Poker.' "
John turned to the bonze and said, "Ah! Nakamura-san! Now is as
good a time as any, so let's go down the road here a bit, have a beer or
two, and get started! I hope you have a lot of money you want to lose!"
As the two walked away, the Evangelist turned to Transformer and
said, incredulously, "Are they really going to play cards? For money?"
"Sure!" said Transformer, "Why not? As long as it's not hurting
anyone, it's lawful."
"But....but....card-playing is a SIN!" The Evangelist started
puffing up, and looking like he was going to deliver a sermon.
Transformer looked at him, one eyebrow raised, and said, "Don't
try to take on my job...."
The Evangelist un-puffed rather quickly, and looked a bit
sheepish. "Lord, you're right, of course.."
Trickster made a rude noise, and muttered, "Of course I'm right,
you silly twit!"
They continued walking, and Trickster turned towards Transformer,
and said, "Well, should we hit him with a bit of Reality?"
"Probably. Which Reality do you want to use?"
Trickster thought a moment, and said, "Well, we could do the bit
with the fella with four lady friends, and all of them making love with
each other, but I think introducing him to God would do it the best.
Kinda an attitude adjustment sort of thing."
"Sounds good to me," said Transformer, "Let's do it."
Transformer turned to the Evangelist, and said, "Prepare yourself
to meet God."
The Evangelist turned pale, and said, "Is this the Judgement? Am
I worthy?"
"Of course you are worthy. You have lived your Faith as well as
any, and in some respects better than most. You have questioned, and
found answers that you could live with. You have harmed none, and been
good to all. Come, and meet thy Maker!" Transformer smiled gently at the
fear-struck human.
They turned a corner, and Transformer said, "There is thy God,
clearly for you to see!"
And It was Trickster, and Transformer, and Chaos. It was the
Maiden, and the Mother, and the Crone. It was the Sacred King, and the
Hunter, and the Youth. And It was all of these, and none of them, and
everything that was and is and will be.
And the Evangelist fainted dead away.
"Think I should go get a glass of cold water and revive him?"
Trickster leaned over the unconcious body interestedly.
"Nah. They all react like that, or at least most of 'em. Some are
a little more resilient, but this one is just about average. I'd carry
him over to the Fundie section, and leave him there to stew with the
rest of 'em, but he's actually more adaptable than even he realizes. I
think we might just be able to bring this one quite a step this time."
Trickster looked at Transformer, grinned, and said, "How about a
small side-bet on it?"
Transformer looked at Trickster, and replied, "Do you -always-
talk to Yourself like that?"
Trickster's eyes laughed, and He replied, "Yup. And do You always
-answer- Yourself like that?"
And they both smiled at each other.
Thus it was, and so it is, and evermore shall be so!
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