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- Remember that this is our home and that we have to live here.
- If you are dead, then you have to leave immediately.
- If a mug of coffee or Coca-Cola is waved under thy nose and
there is no discernable movement, thou art declared dead and
therefore subject to rule #2.
- Visitors shall agree with thine hosts on all matters or suffer
dire consequences. See rules #2 and #14.
- Always ask before using, borrowing, or showing anything in the
house and grounds and see to its return promptly. Reasons being
that it may not be the Banjo Geek's or the RedKat's, it may be fragile,
it may be sharp, it may be loaded, it may be empty, it may be
full of vile things, it may bite back, or it may be promised to
someone else. Woe be to the borrower or user when the Banjo Geek finds
out.
- There is, of course, -no- rule #6.
- Remember, the Rose is -always- up. See rules #2 and #14.
- Clothing is optional at all times. Discretion is advised when
children or strangers are present, or the windows are open for all
the world to look, point and laugh.
- If weapons are drawn in anger, combatants will be declared in open
season, and rule #2 will apply. Innocent bystanders may or may not
be resurrected.
- Thou shalt secure thine own firearms. If smalls are present, we shall advise you
on accepted protocols.
- Touching the electronics, weapons, books, tools and/or musical
instruments throughout the house without permission subjects thee
to rule #2. Touching each other is acceptable, though rule #9 may
then apply.
- The Banjo Geek does not play cards, nor gamble, and neither the Banjo Geek,
nor the RedKat, nor the Dorothy will provide alcohol. BYOB applies.
- Abuse the local flora and fauna, and rule #2 will apply to dust
left after the Banjo Geek finds out.
- ALL SHALL REMEMBER THAT THINE HOSTS ARE MEMBERS OF THE DARK HORDE
AND DO -NOT- PAY BAIL FOR ANYONE FOR ANY REASON.
- Persons committing marginal infractions of these rules may be
marked by the Banjo Geek and identified by one or more of the following
methods
a) a dark cloud, complete with lightning, above them.
b) Their sudden absence in a puff of evil smelling smoke
c) Transmogrification into other forms
d) Large holes in their bodies (this may occur by the
Banjo Geek's friends looking out for his own best interests)
- Irritate the Banjo Geek at thine own risk. Irritate the RedKat and you
will be subject to rule #2. Irritate the Dorothy, and she gets
you to experiment with.
- Possession of illicit substances, or unusual, unruly and/or rude behaviour
will subject you to rule #2.
- A telephone call before you visit will prevent you from being met at the door by
armed inhabitants and/or several grumpy good sized dogs.
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