Twas the night before Yuletide and all through the hole
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Dhole
Aldebaran hung at the right place at nine
In the hopes that Great Cthulhu would come out this time
The Fungi from Yuggoth, all snug in their caves
Were plotting to turn all the people to slaves
The Deep Ones in Rlyeh, the Ghouls in their graves
Were dancing and singing and acting depraved
When what do my wondering eyes should appear
But a mouldering sleigh and eight corpselike reindeer
With a horrible driver so leprous and reeking
I knew right away that my fear was unspeaking
The reindeer were gross, as they flew up from hell
And It hoarsely whispered and chanted a spell
Ia Shub Niggurath! Cthulhu ftagn!
Nyarlathotep! I summon you on!
As decomposed flesh before the charnel stench rise
And meet with the open air polluting the skies
Up to the housetop the horror it rose
And the gangrenous odors assailed my nose
And then in a slopping noise heard on the roof
The lumbering clomping of octopoid hoofs
As I drew in my head and was turning around
The horror lurched into my room with a bound
Its eyes how they pulsate so bulbous and gory
This blasphemous creature so noxious and hoary
I was frozen by fear, my feet woudn't run
I threw up my cookies, this wasn't much fun
It whispered my name and said ``You come with I''
I tried to refuse and it said ``Then you die.''
It came at my throat with its grim claws extended
But a miracle saved its victim intended
I had three Elder Signs in a slot in the floor
It screamed with a fiendish sound and went out the door
It sprang to its sleigh, and its team gave a surge
And away they all flew to the sound of a dirge
I heard it exclaim as it flew out of sight
``You're lucky this time, for the stars weren't right.''

---

A Lovecraft Christmas

by Pete Sears

Journal Entry: Dec 2
I have returned home after a long time away. Time seems not to have touched Arkham very much. Oh you'll see the occasional cell phone on the street but the old-timers who sit around at the hardware store seem to be the same one that sat there in my youth. I've spent so much time in diverse corners of the world seeking the strange and unusual that even my childhood home seems quaint and curious in the same way that Yoruba tribesmen do. I find myself having to bite my tongue whenever I get the urge to ask the natives to explain their customs. New England reticence is something I am having to relearn. For example, I am staying at the old ancestral home and it's quiet eough to enable me to study. It's also remote enough to allow me to cast a spell or two in the back yard without being observed. But every time I venture into town I am struck by small changes there. Townsfolk, whom I suppose are trying to be friendly, keep asking me if I "Getting ready for the Holidays." I am not aware of any particular holidays. Perhaps there's some sort festival in the offing. I shall ask.

Journal Entry: Dec 4
It would seem that there is some sort of winter festival. When I inquired I was looked at strangely and avoided but finally I did get a straight answer. I've also noted some strange behavior in town. People seem to be smiling...a lot. They seem to be extremely busy and carrying a lot of suspicious parcels.

Journal Entry: Dec 13
I've observed a strange ritual. Last night, two husky men came onto the back of my property and cut down a pine tree. Taking up my shotgun to deal with the trespassers, I watched as they dragged the tree back to their car. Was that all they had come for? Had they broken the law merely to steal a tree? Fascinated and horrified, I followed them back to their home. They took the tree off their car and took it into their house. Watching from the bushes, I observed the tree thieves as they began to cover their ill-gotten foliage with strange blinking lights and odd icons of some sort. Is this some sort of odd cult activity? Perhaps some bizarre fertility ritual. (Shub?!?) Is the tree supposed to be an altar? Sacrifice? Antenna? More study is required.

Journal Entry: Dec 16
This cult is far more widespread than I suspected was possible. Much of the town appears to have been affected. I am considering summoning help. Many of the townsfolk seem to be smiling that same insipid smile. I am beginning to worry. I was walking through town assembling some notes about this phenomenon when I went into a department store for more paper. a large man in a red suit and a bushy white beard stared at me and rang a small bell. He seemed to want me to make some offering to a small bucket on a tripod and gave me a hard look when I didn't. I asked the manager if there was a back way out of the store.

Journal Entry: Dec 17
Had a bad turn today. Found that the maid had erected one of those tree altars in the living room. Was terrified beyond comprehension by the thing. Frankly she was completely nonplussed at my reaction. "But it's traditional." she said. I was forced to dismiss her.

Journal Entry: Dec 19
My private library has proven useless for this "Winter Festival". I must brave going into town again and attempting research in the public library. I fear time is growing short somehow...and this is compounded by the snow which is coming down very hard now. I fear I will be snowed in if this keeps up.

Journal Entry: Dec 20
I am filled with horror. Venturing into town to use the library, I encountered the man in the red suit again. He was speaking very intently to a very small child who was rapt in attention at his words. I hurried along before he could notice me. I arrived at the Library and presented myself as an anthropologist studying the basis of this local "Winter Festival" I was looked at quizzically, but directed well by the young lady at the desk. apparently this cult is very old and it's practices are particularly gruesome. It apparently started with the Celts (who died out by the way) It's now masquerading as the festival of the birth of some Christian martyr, but it's practices are very suspicious. I am having to read between the lines of course, but I am seeing a terrifying pattern here. There's apparently some flying creature with claws. (The translation here may be flawed) It goes forth once per year to reward the faithful and punish the transgressors. It particularly likes "sweets" ( which I take to mean sweetbreads ..Horrible!) and will consume these offerings if they are left for him. apparently no home is proof against this horrific beast who is able to invade through the smallest fireplace (Significance? Hastur relationship?) The faithful are also enjoined to put up stockings up on the mantel and they will be "filled." I can only assume with the severed legs of the "bad little children". There is also some sort of connection to a "Snowman" (Ithaqua? It must be!) This finally explains the bizarre patterns in the snow and odd snow sculptures all over town. as I walked home, trying to make some sense of this horrific puzzle. I saw the man in red again. He seems to be everywhere. Is he following me?

Journal Entry: Dec 21
I had bad dreams last night. The Man in Red had invaded my home with a very large sack. To what end I don't know. I woke up screaming when he turned and I recognized his face. This was not the only strange thing that I encountered. as the snow dashed my hopes of leaving town before this hideous ritual could take place. I began to knock around the house. I discovered that the refrigerator has become home to strange foodstuffs. I found a pitcher of some odd smelling spicy fluid which looked like milk gone bad. I also found an odd cake like substance with unidentifiable red and green THINGS in it. I was forced to dismiss the cook. These cultists are everywhere but at least I have the house to myself.

Journal Entry: Dec 22
Had the dream again. Will this nightmare ever cease? I also had visions of...something dancing in my head. I can feel a horrific change coming over me. It's slow and pernicious but I am beginning to feel it's effects. I saw myself in the mirror today and I didn't recognize myself. I had that SMILE on my face...No it's not even a smile, it's more of a rictus. It took some effort to wipe it from my face. I found myself in front of the fridge looking at the fluid and the evil looking cake.... wondering what they tasted like. I fear for my immortal soul.

Journal Entry: Dec 23
Last night as I was trying to calm myself by the fire. (which I keep burning all the time now.) I heard the high piping voices of the cultists outside my door. They were singing to me...In Latin! Something about "Come all ye faithful", or some such. I was filled with such fear that I was forced to retreat to the basement where I sat and trembled until they finally went away. I wanted to go to them....I wanted... No. Best not to think about that now.

Journal Entry: Dec 24
This may be my last entry. I have dealt with some horrifying things in my life but this is far too much to handle alone. I am forced to take drastic measures. I have taken a few household chemicals and rigged a primitive detonator, which I can trigger from the garage. It should kill anything in the house...at least that is my hope. I can feel the "Christmas Spirit" trying to take over my body and I want no part of it. I'll either kill the Flying Klaws or I'll freeze to death out here. Lose the house or lose my life. It's a small price to pay to end this pernicious menace. 'TWAS THE CALL OF CTHULHU By Arthur Levesque - 'Twas the Call of Cthulhu, all the stars were right Every artist was stirring; t'was odd dreams all night Elder signs were hung at Miskatonic U In hopes it would save them from Great Cthulhu The Deep Ones were gathered on the ocean beds While dreaming of feasting on raw human heads Our schooner on the South Seas, on her maiden cruise Had just battened down for a long drunken snooze When out on the sea the waves started to splatter I jumped from my bunk to see what was the matter Away to the porthole I tripped and I fell I jumped up and looked out and cursed "What the hell!" The moon on the beach as a new island rose Gave more light than I wanted; I looked and I froze When what to my gibbering sight should appear But an old eldritch city with angles so queer With a mountain of blubber, green viscuous slime-goo I knew by some instinct it was Cthulhu! More rapid than serpents his tentacles came And we heard in our heads as he called out some names "Now Wilbur! Young Whately! Lavinia! Yog-Sothoth! Come minions from Innsmouth and Fungi from Yuggoth! From Mountains of Madness to this humble blue ball Now slash away, crash away, smash away all!" As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly My crew beat a rapid retreat and so did I Then out of his prison called Great Cthulhu With plans for all of us that we somehow all knew And then in a twinkling I saw mankind's fate All dancing and bowing on his dinner plate As I ducked down my head and was turning around From the mongrel ship's engineer came an odd sound He walked up to a star hanging on this big door But the angles were all wrong, it might have been floor A matter of seconds, he ripped off the seal He had done it so quickly I had no time to squeal My eyes, how they gibbered! My screaming, so eerie! Great Cthulhu was loose, what could be more scary? His bright angry eyes, all his tentacles loose My first mate disappeared down an angle obtuse The rest of the crew made it back to the boat Cthulhu, he followed us as we set afloat He had great bat wings, the head of a squid I can't even describe the next few things he did! He was chubby and plump, head big as a villa And I knew when I saw him, he'd eat Godzilla A wink of an eye and a twitch of his head Grabbed him twelve crewman, all better off dead He spoke not a word but came straight on fast And ate all the others and left me for last Him chewing his dinner, I reversed my ship And crying a curse rammed his gigantic hip He burst into a fog and his island went down But he reformed again before I could turn around Then I heard him exclaim as he sank out of sight "This ain't the last time all the stars will be right!"