NIGHTGAUNT B-GON! Tired of dodging those pesky nightgaunts when you step outside at night? They are an annoyance! WE HAVE THE SOLUTION! Just rub our patent NIGHTGAUNT B-GON cream into your skin, and they will pass you by, and go tear a person who was not so wise into little tiny bits! Only $4.95 at your nearest drugstore! Buy some today, or tonight you may wish you had! A full refund will be made to your next-of-kin if our product fails in use!